The creators of Black Mirror have decided to remind us, yet again, of how messed up (and knowledgeable) technology can get.
They have brought their freaky futuristic dating app (featured in season 4’s ‘Hang the DJ’ episode) to life!
Coach.dating has a superpower no current dating app has; not only does it match you with potential partners, it tells you how long your relationship will last…
Coach is supposedly powered by all-knowing AI dating tech called ‘The System’, which uses a Siri-ish voice (ugh) and Tinder-ish algorithms to produce your perfect match. So far, so good. Then it sends you and your partner a link informing you of exactly how long this ‘perfectly matched’ relationship is going to last, from hours to years.
Who said life and love couldn’t be predictable! This app also has a mean streak – thought you and your lovebird could happily last 20 years together? If you don’t click on the link in a timely fashion, Coach starts shaving time off. Serves you right for lack of dedication to Coach AND your relationship.
After a few test runs, I'm questioning the accuracy of 'The System'. You click on what is basically just an electronic Magic-8 Ball, send your link and try to co-ordinate with your partner. And turns out I'll be with mine either 18, 2, 5 or 11 years...
You know what would be fun? Trying to beat ‘The System’. Stay in a two-year relationship with someone you hate because ‘The System’ only predicted 18 months. Take that, Coach! Luckily, unlike in the Black Mirror episode, we still get to decide how long our relationships last regardless of what the link tells you.
To be honest, it’s a recipe for disaster to ask the number one creators of televised existential dread how your love life is going to pan out, but if you really do want to know when you might need to start looking for a new bae… I mean, give it a whirl. Personally, I’ll be sticking to horoscopes.