In Conversation with breakthrough star Rain Spencer on Big Girls Don’t Cry

With her captivating screen presence and raw emotional depth, Rain Spencer is rapidly establishing herself as one of the most compelling young actors of her generation. Best known to global audiences for her standout role as Taylor in The Summer I Turned Pretty, Spencer brings a magnetic, grounded energy to every role she takes on. Now, the rising star trades North America for Aotearoa’s rugged coastline in Big Girls Don't Cry, directed by breakout Kiwi filmmaker Paloma Schneideman.

Big Girls Don't Cry plunges audiences headfirst into a nostalgic time capsule of the mid-2000s—a world of dial-up internet hums, MSN screen names and summer afternoons fueled by petrol station ice creams. The film centers on 14-year-old Sid (played with brilliant vulnerability by Ani Palmer), a self-conscious teen navigating the awkward, agonising threshold of adolescence in coastal Omaha. As Sid wrestles with her emerging identity and quiet struggles with her sexuality, everything shifts with the arrival of Freya (Rain Spencer), her sister’s effortlessly cool American friend. Freya's infectious confidence acts as a catalyst, sparking a deep coming-of-age transformation for Sid against a backdrop of messy teenage house parties and local Kiwi culture.

Remix’s Portia Gascoigne sat down with Spencer and Schneideman to talk about embracing their younger selves, quintessential New Zealand hallmarks and earning the ultimate co-sign from Kristen Stewart.

Let's start from the beginning: how did acting first come into your life, and when did you realise it was something you wanted to pursue?
Rain Spencer: I joined a theatre group in Wilmington, North Carolina, when I was five. I played tiny characters like the Christmas mouse, but I fell in love with it. I went home and said, "Mum, I want an agent." That was it—I’ve been stuck on acting ever since!

You’ve worked on major projects like The Summer I Turned Pretty and Good Girl Jane. What made you say yes to Big Girls Don’t Cry?
RS: I read the script and immediately fell in love with it. Paloma sent me a beautiful letter, and our first Zoom call was so warm and easy. What drew me to Freya is that she is 100 percent authentically herself. She represents that truth where you don't have to nitpick yourself—you can just exist. This gives Sid, the main character navigating her teenage years, permission to do the same.

Was there anything about the story’s themes—female sexuality, shame and identity—that challenged you as an actor?
RS: Because Freya is so authentically herself, it challenged me to look at myself and ask, "Can I accept and love every part of myself?" Reading the script made me see my 13-year-old self and feel so much love and forgiveness for her. Can you love your 13-year-old self for just being messy and trying to figure it out?

Set in 2006, in the early days of social media—the era of MSN, Nokia phones and dial-up internet. Did that setting change your approach?
RS: There's something slower about that time. In 2006, people were a little more okay with being bored and staring at the wall. You couldn't reach people instantly like today. Reading the gossip magazines and advice columns in the film definitely transported me back.

How did you find adapting to New Zealand culture and slang? I loved the quintessential Kiwi hallmarks used throughout and the Warehouse ad, for example.
RS: I loved the accent and all the sayings! I did need clarification when it rained and everyone kept saying, "Get your brolly!" I was like, "What is a brolly?" I fell in love with the country—I even came back six months later to do a road trip across both islands, go skydiving, visit Waiheke, and explore Piha’s black sand beach. 

Paloma Schneideman: We also had local iwi come and do a karakia when we were shooting at Bethells Beach, which really locked us in on a hard shoot day by the riverbank.

RS: Yes! Everyone delivered us lunch on paddleboards and small boats—all the grips were on this boat bringing food! It was an amazing experience.

What’s one thing that surprised you about New Zealand?
RS: Christmas in the summertime is so different! I was like, "Wow, I’m in a bathing suit right now, okay?" New Year's is also such a big deal here; it feels like everyone centers their whole year around it, just like how it's depicted in the film.

Paloma, you wrote this film for your 14-year-old self. What was it like bringing that vision to life with collaborators?
PS: When something has been living in your head for so long and you invite collaborators like Rain to bring it to life, it creates a healthy distance because it's not fully yours anymore, but it makes it so real.

RS: Paloma did such a masterful job of building the world and letting it breathe as its own living thing.

The film received the Grand Prix at the Nouvelle Vagues Film Festival, presented by Kristen Stewart who said “I loved this film with my whole heart” and that on reflection “It gave me a chance to see what that girl couldn’t see, and that she was the coolest person in the room.  What was that moment like—did that feel like a real pinch-me experience?
PS: I mean, as a member of the queer community, there are very few co-signs that are as good as Kristen Stewart's! But beyond that, just as a human and the way she spoke about the film, it's just nice when you hear people you don't expect to be so connected to the material speak about it with so much love. She was so astute—she was actually saying things about the film that I hadn't even thought of. That’s the power of sharing the work, I guess.

Absolutely! It relates so much to that universal experience of connecting internationally. How did you find that moment, Rain?
RS: I wasn't physically there, so I actually saw it on Instagram and was like, "Wait, is Kristen Stewart talking about... what?!" I was like, "Hell yeah, this is so cool!" She had such beautiful things to say about the film—it was a complete shock to me. I was just taking in the moment so privately, feeling so proud of it. The co-sign of dreams!

You were also an executive producer on the film. What was that experience like?
RS: It was an incredible experience all around! Getting to be involved from Freya's wardrobe to all the fun aspects behind the scenes gave me such a creative connection to the project. I'm just so proud of it and can't wait for people to see it.

What are you hoping audiences take away from Big Girls Don’t Cry?
RS: Each experience is so personal, and I think art can be interpreted however it wants to be. I'm excited for people to see it, feel a bit of themselves in it, and reflect. Making it made me want to treat my younger self with more compassion.

Looking at where you are now in your career, is there anything you’d really love to do next that you haven’t had the chance to yet?
RS: I feel like I'm at the beginning—there are so many things I want to do. I just finished a film called Little Five, produced by Somewhere Pictures, Anne Hathaway's production company. It was intense and sweaty and dirty… so I’m excited for that to come to screen! 

Big Girls Don’t Cry is in Aotearoa cinemas from October 8.